12 June 2008

The Adventures of Capt. Cluck

June 12, 2008

A week ago, we returned to Whisper only to find that our lucky mascot "Captain Cluck"--a squeeking pirate rubber chicken--had been kidnapped! Based on their near total lack of integrity, we immediately suspected that we would find the culprits on S/V Someday Came. (For their version of the story check their blog linked on the sidebar.) We approached the youngest and most gullible member of the New Jersey crime family: Violet--age 2, a tough blonde with a killer smile that has fooled even the most skeptical detective. But after a brief interrogation she quickly spilled the beans: Captain Cluck was indeed on board!

Later in the day, Caroline, the 11 year old crime boss in training, delivered this ransom note:

"Who is this Pablito?" we asked ourselves. "And what does he want?"

It turned out that Pablito, (aka. Shannon, aka. Captain Morgan, aka Mr. Sexy Time, aka. Tillman Crime Boss) wanted two coconuts in exchange for Captain Cluck. There were several inappropriate threats issued over the radio suggesting that Capt. Cluck might be turned into Chicken Nuggets, Chicken a la King, Chicken Picata and BBQ chicken.

Undaunted we refused to negotiate with these kidnappers. When the Tillman Crime Syndicate next joined us in Salt Whistle Bay, we were ready. Tillman crime wife, Kathy, tried to appease us with yummy spaghetti and meatball dinner, but to no avail. Revenge was imminent. Unbeknownst to the crew sleeping on Someday Came we snuck up to their boat at 0300 in the morning and filled their dinghy to the brim with coconuts.

Ha! Victory at last!

The next morning we were given more ransom demands, which were ignored, and lo and behold Capt. Cluck was returned to Whisper before noon that day. He did, however, exhibit clear signs of physical and emotional abuse that he suffered at the hands of the Tillman Crime Syndicate: he now has a hole in his left leg, and he refuses to squeek as normal. We hope that a period of rest and recuperation will restore Capt. Cluck to his former glory. Meanwhile, the Tillman Crime Syndicate is retreating through the Panama Canal and across the Pacific Ocean to avoid the wrath of Whisper.

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